Since you seemed to like me reviewing your last submission I'll review this one. Unfortunately I'm not going to hold back.
No animation at all just frames and little tweens.
What art what animation? I understand you are a beginner but that doesn't mean you can't make great things. This seems like a slideshow done in Powerpoint. This is good for experimenting but I suggest you don't submit short things to newgrounds if you want to better your name here.
Chocolate that's all I pretty much understood nothing of interest nor do i think a story exists.
As I said before in my last review of your submission the audio was well streamed but do to loop it fucks up the whole animation the song keeps on playing again and again over running and making my ears hurt. I can't even understand what it is now.
You should work on how the audio will work with some simple actionscript you can perfectly loop the song I suggest you look into that.
Random loops are submitted daily and half of them are even watchable. But I haven't seen one on chocolate. All you did was add pictures of memes and a chocolate bar not really original sorry.
Bad random, and with horrible song loop. I preferred the Minecraft loop because you at least put effort in drawing it out. But as i always state you are a beginner and you have lots of time to better yourself so don't give up and keep trying!
Simple with bad graphics then again I guess you are new to animating.
There was no animation other than the moving flashy lights, and the bad mouth moving. No movement at all, just a change of scenes. The looping made it hard to realize when it started and when it ended since I scrolled down to read the reviews first. I suggest you put in a preloader.
The art wasn't good but as I said I guess you are new to animating, so I believe you are using a mouse which few people can master. Not much that you can expect from a new person using a mouse. You at least tried with the moving backgrounds.
After viewing this a couple of times I realize what's happening. The character can't mine for shit so he uses the mod X-ray which helps him spot out diamonds with ease, he then makes a diamond pickax.
Audio fits alright and was nicely streamed at least you got that right. Also I am pretty sure you did not create the song so I'd suggest you give credits to the person who did.
Yeah, no. Minecraft animations aren't known for being that original. But this is the first minecraft animation I saw that involves the use of the X-ray mod.
This was a good start to your animating career. AT LEAST you didn't do stick figures. I recommend you practice and if you really want to get better and do this, practice your drawing skills and perspective as well as your animation. I look forward to seeing your progress. Would give you a one but since it's your first ever and you are starting out I give you a two.
Also it isn't that hard to find diamonds :D
Wow thanks for the comment. This animation is s*it. You have the right was created by using the mouse. Really thanks for you. :D
an endless loop of misery
art work wasn't good. the person's anatomy was way off and the use of colors was horrifying. No shade it looks as if you made this in two hours. No actual animation just two repeating frames of piss.
No story at all, nothing to find good about this.
well at least you put a song. Not the greatest fitting song but I see what you're trying to accomplish with a dramatic song. Something you might put in mind that the song itself does not loop, you should look into that.
I must say I have to give you points for originality. I don't think anyone else here has thought of a scene were a man pisses, looking at the sun while dramatic music is playing.
not one of my favorites I don't find this funny at all, and think you have way more to improve on before you ever touch flash again. But I guarantee if you work hard on it and practice more you will eventually be a top-notch animator.
just a brony
well overall, great!
Well the art in fact was good, well fitting for a cartoon. How ever the animation had it's faults one of the most important being the lip syncing. The shape of the mouths were good but the timing was not. At the beginning of the animation your lip-syncing was good and well timed but throughout the animation it's timing started to drop. Example when Jesus said "my name is Jesus". Jesus' mouth had "O" shape at the end not fitting in the smoothness of the animation. But beyond that mistake the animation was very impressive.
The story was good. The idea of Jesus meeting Skyrim is something not everyone would think of. A very unique plot. The length was short but it was funny.
This is were you lose me. You must admit that Skyrim jokes have been flooding the portal. The jokes are getting old, but at least you didn't make a "an arrow to the knee" reference. I'll give you points for that.
The audio was basically consisted of voices. The voices did not sound clear, and you could hear the microphone. Other than that I'd say the rest of the audio was great. Especially the music.
I'd say you did a great job on this overall. It is an animation worthy of the front page with a little more originality than most of the other Skyrim flashes, keep up the good work, can;t wait to see what you come up with in the future.
The animation was quite stale. It showed no natural movements. Throughout the flash, very weak tweens were made, kind of ruining the story. The art wasn't the worst I've seen, but wasn't good either. You seemed to have problem with the shading of colors, since for example the creepers had a much darker green for their shadows than their basic light green color. I recommend for your next try that you experiment with colors and try to blend them a bit instead of making them stand out.
Another problem I came across was the lip-syncing, you seemed to have missed the timing for some and made it look not so good. Also I had a trouble viewing what the creepers were saying in the dialogue due to the font being a bit too short, and the color not standing out.
The story was quite easy to follow, a nice introduction to the past and such. Quite humorous to say the least.
The audio was well done. Every song you chose fit the scenes perfectly and that
was quite impressive. The voices were also top-notch and very good.
what I'd say overall is that your main problem was the animation/art, I know that over time you will improve and I look forward to seeing more of your work around the site.
Thanks for the Critique. Hopefully soon I can get the animation better.
ehh unfunny and too simple
The animation is simple and mostly consisted of tweens. The art was alright and very fit for a cartoon. I see no problems here. I liked the boiling effect that you gave it. The lip-syncing was really good as-well.
Alright now lets move on to what bothered me, the story. I didn't understand anything! You also put too much cursing in your animations that kinda ruined the moment. Was it supposed to be funny?
Something else that I also didn't like were the voices you seem to have edited it so much that it sounds like annoying shrieks.
Overall its unfunny, the only thing I recommend you do is work on your material and also try not to edit the voices too much.
Impressive though you have to work on it
Well this loop isn't your regular type of loop, it showed some originality, though sadly the animation wasn't to say the least the worse nor is it the best. It looks as if you made it very stale. The fingers do not look as if they were playing naturally, you have to put in some in-betweens to smooth it out a bit. Though something that impressed me was the art, it was very unique and I like the shade you gave it.
As for the loop, you messed it up. After a while the loop will return to the preloader with the music still playing that is an issue that you will have to fix.
The music was very beautiful and fitting, it faded in and out very good job.
Overall I'd have to say that your main flaws were in the animation, though it is an experiment. Another flaw is the looping process anyways this was very good overall and you are very talented. Keep up the good work!
yes, sorry , I wanted to make' it better and longer but my computer is crap, I finished this animation in coupe of hours but it took me ages to just copy after that some frames and save it :(, flash uses a LOT of memoy I don't know how, after severar drawing my computer is slow and when I draw a line I need 4 seconds to wait to load and like 3 sec if I hit Ctrl+z to undo :( ...tnx for taking your rime to review :)
No, just no
There was little animation just some tweens that weren't even properly done. No ease movement at all. I understand that you are a beginner but you must practice you're skills more. The graphics were no good, I'm not a fan of stick figures, but this is just bad anyways. The animation was WAY too stale for example when the guy splashes in the water you just drew a bunch of lines instead of taking you'e time and animating a proper splash. I've sen your other work and know that you're still getting there, I highly recommend you get a tablet.
Although the plot was good, and a bit funny the stale animation and bad graphics ruined it. The sound was good but was over looping and not going along with the animation you need to really work hard and put some effort, a simple "Stop();" command would have stopped the music at the end of the animation, instead of just repeating after the end of the animation.
Overall I have to say I'm not impressed you never showed any effort and if you at least worked a bit more on it I'd say it would be at least decent.
Please work harder!
I agree with you, but...
...you're really starting to piss me off, Alex. I could have taken the criticism if it wasn't for that last paragraph. "Overall I have to say I'm not impressed you never showed any effort and if you at least worked a bit more on it I'd say it would be at least decent.
Please work harder!"
I never showed any effort?
1. I started off with a shitty, badly done movie that got blammed instantly.
2.I worked harder and eventually my stuff got accepted into the portal. Some of it actually didn't do so badly.
1. You're a year older than me.
2. You keep giving me lectures and advice when you haven't submitted any flash yourself. I don't doubt that you could submit something good, but maybe you could show me how it's done.
I don't want to start an argument, but you were kind of asking for it. No offence meant.
eh so and so
Well it was a good animation, very exciting and well done. Though there were things in your animation that weren't good. One would be the graphics, I'm not a huge fan of Stick figures but I always know when some are well done and when some are just cheap tweens. Your's is well prepared and what makes it most impressive is that it's not all in flash. Anyways what bugged me about the graphics were that they where a bit stale the weren't very lively and that affected your animation as well. Your animation is very stale at some parts. I recommend to fix this you start making frame by frame on parts that can not be simply done with tweens. Regardless, I can tell your just starting out on animation, and I have to say its far better than what other people's first animation.
Now the story wasn't really original, I've seen many like this that are just about sticks fighting.
The audio was good. It had a nice sort of a "challenging" ring to it most fitting for a fight. The sound effects fit the moments exactly good work on that!
Overall I'd say you did a good job for a beginner, I expect you to get better with every submission you make.
well you see the static parts that you was talkin about are not with flash they were maked with pivot stick figure animator just the actions and then i pasted the gif in flash to draw the hair and the effects and sounds .but i will do much better next time i promise ;D
Well the animation was simple and I couldn't find anything wrong with that. The art was nice and cartoonish.
The Story was great and funny. I liked the fact that you gave the viewer the choice to see how the outcome comes ( though their both the same!). Though I do have a problem with the sound the voices are good, but you're using a bad mic and I can tell from the sound quality you should try to fix that and get a better microphone. That being said I also had a problem with the lip-syncing. The mouths did not match the words. I recommend you work with your timing.
Overall I'd say the animation was good and so was the plot, but the sound and lip-syncing are things you're going to work on.
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